Why Am I Scared Of Dying?
Daily Journal Prompt 238
"What matters most is how well you walk through the fire." - Charles Bukowski
Happy Sunday everyone.
Don't worry, this isn't a sad post, at least not intentionally. While listening to The Lex Fridman Podcast with Tucker Carlson, Tucker made a comment that now that his kids are grown hes not scared of dying anymore. His rationale behind this was that as a young man, and a father of young children the implications of dying were far greater because you have people who truly depend on you in the deepest sense of the word. But as they get older and you transition from being depended on he began to lose that fear. I thought this was a very interesting take on death and not one you often get, at least in my experience.
His comments reminded me of a Charles Bukoski Poem that I first heard when Lex read it on the Joe Rogan Podcast. This poem "Go All The Way" embodies the idea of what everyone should strive to do with life because regardless of if you fear it or embrace it, we will all face this fate at some point in time. So Why do we waste so much of it not going all the way?... Before we continue, let me share the poem with you.
Go All The Way
Charles Bukowski – Go All The Way
If you’re going to try, go all the way.
Otherwise, don’t even start.
If you’re going to try, go all the way.
This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs and maybe even your mind.
It could mean not eating for three or four days.
It could mean freezing on a park bench.
It could mean jail.
It could mean derision, mockery, isolation.
Isolation is the gift.
All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it.
And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds.
And it will be better than anything else you can imagine.
If you’re going to try, go all the way.
There is no other feeling like that.
You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire.
DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. All the way
You will ride life straight to perfect laughter.
It’s the only good fight there is.
What does "going all the way" mean in your life? Have there been moments when fear held you back from truly living or accepting the inevitability of change and loss? Write about these instances and how you might face them differently now.
Bukowski’s words, a raw and unflinching call to arms, resonate with me deeply. "Go all the way" — this isn't just advice; it's a command, a challenge to the very core of our being. It's about more than just aiming for success; it's about embracing the full spectrum of human experience, from the highest highs to the lowest lows.
In my own life, I've come to understand that this journey is not for the faint of heart. It's fraught with challenges that often seem insurmountable. Immense challenges that test our resolve, self-doubt that creeps in during the quietest hours, and societal pushback that questions our every move. These are not mere obstacles; they are essential components of the journey itself.
And yet, there is something profoundly beautiful in this relentless pursuit. In facing these trials head-on, we embark on a path of genuine self-discovery. Walking "through the fire," as Bukowski puts it, is not about seeking pain, but about confronting our fears, questioning our limitations, and breaking through the barriers that confine us.
I've faced my own fires, moments when everything seemed to crumble around me, when my dreams felt like they were slipping through my fingers. Yet, it was precisely in those moments of vulnerability, when I felt most exposed and unsure, that I found a strength I never knew I had. It was in the darkness that I discovered my light.
This journey is not about avoiding pain or sidestepping adversity. It’s about moving forward, one step at a time, even when the path is obscured by shadows. It's about the resilience found in the face of despair, the courage to continue when everything within you wants to give up.
"Go all the way" means embracing life with all its imperfections, its chaos, and its beauty. It means pushing beyond the boundaries of what we know, plunging into the unknown depths, and emerging, time and time again, transformed by our trials.
This, to me, is the essence of living. It's a journey marked not by the absence of fear, but by the determination to face it head-on. It's a relentless pursuit of growth, not just despite the challenges, but because of them. This is the path I choose to walk, a path I invite you to join me on, as we strive to go all the way, together.
This week I challenge you to step with me into the arena of self-confrontation, an arena where true growth is forged.
Identify one fear or area in your life where shadows have lingered too long, perhaps areas you've shied away from due to discomfort, uncertainty, or the daunting prospect of failure. This might be a conversation you've been avoiding, a project you’ve shelved due to fear of criticism, or perhaps a personal truth you’ve masked under layers of denial.
Commit to one actionable step this week to confront this challenge. This is not about reckless abandon but about mindful, purposeful action. It's about acknowledging the fear, feeling its weight, and then taking a step forward anyway. This could mean drafting the first paragraph of that book you've always wanted to write, scheduling that difficult conversation, or simply sitting in quiet reflection to face the truths you’ve been avoiding.
Write about what you’re feeling, the thoughts racing through your mind, the physical sensations of fear and anticipation. Reflect on why this particular fear has held such power over you and what it means to finally face it.
How did reality compare to the fear that preceded it? What did you learn about yourself through this act of courage? Often, we find that the monster we’ve been running from isn’t nearly as formidable as we imagined.
This challenge is about more than just overcoming a fear; it's about initiating a dialogue with our inner selves, understanding the roots of our fears, and learning how to navigate through them. It’s a step towards dismantling the barriers we've erected around our true potential.
In facing our fears and confronting our challenges, we are not just surviving; we are learning to thrive. We are understanding that resilience is not an armor we don, but a muscle we develop – subtly, yet powerfully, through every trial and triumph. This week, I urge you to carry forward the wisdom gleaned from our deep dive, to remember that every step taken in the face of adversity is a step towards your own grand tapestry of strength.
Let's not forget that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. A step taken in fear yet bolstered by the courage to move forward. A step into the unknown, with the faith that it leads us to our true selves. As we continue on our paths, let these reflections be our guiding light – illuminating the darkness, challenging the unknown, and embracing the entirety of our experience with an open heart and an unwavering spirit.
Remember, my friends, in the grand scheme of life, every challenge faced, every fear confronted, and every moment of vulnerability is a testament to your strength and a contribution to your ever-growing resilience. Bukowski challenged us to "go all the way," and in doing so, he was inviting us to fully engage with life – with all its pain, beauty, and endless mysteries.
So as you move forward into the coming days, carry with you the lessons of this week, the wisdom of those who have walked this path before us, and the knowledge that within you lies an unyielding force capable of withstanding life's fiercest storms. Walk with confidence, live with purpose, and above all, embrace the journey with all its imperfections.
Thank you for sharing this week with me, for opening your hearts to the profound lessons life offers. Until we meet again, may you walk in strength, live with passion, and move ever closer to the best version of yourself.
Catch you in the next issue. Keep thriving and evolving!
With all my heart,
Your Friend, Austin ❤✌
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Until Our Next Rendezvous
With all my heart,
Your Friend, Austin ❤✌
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